The Logistics of Lawyering Up

So how do you find one of these fancy attorneys? Mostly just by asking the fanciest, whitest, suit-owningest, bourgeois man you know. He’ll likely fork over a handful of business cards. This one handles corporate fraud. This one will help you with that nasty divorce of yours. This one is great for that totally non-Ponzi scheme you’re caught up in. And this one is a master of twisting the logistics of insider trading – you didn’t know what you were even doing, after all!

 

I would just choose the most unsuspecting white collar crime (let’s say… embezzlement) and type it into google: Embezzlement attorney, your city, your state. This will give you a good starting point. And then you have to go in and meet with these vultures and pick the one you feel the most comfortable and yet afraid around.

 

AND! Depending on the type of corporate perks you get, your company may just ASSIGN you counsel. I mean, come on! White collar criminals get the financial and legal support of their employer in most cases. Hahahahahaha……. Ok.